WELCOME TO WEEK 1

ALL LINKS TO EXTERNAL SOURCES, PODS, AUDIOS AND ASSIGNMENTS ARE ALL FOUND IN THE TRANSCRIPT BELOW FOR ALL OF YOU THAT WOULD PREFER TO READ THROUGH WEEK 1.

FOR THE FULL VIDEO CONTENT, PLEASE HEAD DOWN BELOW

This week, the focus is on LOOKING AT BALANCE, SELF-ASSESSMENT, HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM BURNOUT AND MENTAL / EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE

You might wonder why we’re going to be going so profoundly into emotional / psychological complexities and circumstances but you’ll come to see as we go that the way we think, feel and act have EVERYTHING to do with how we shift out reality and how, if we’re wanting better life outcomes, we have to pay attention to what we’re doing, saying, thinking, feeling and showing up

As you have seen, we have provided a good review on all the things that actually create imbalance as we need to figure out the root cause of ANY problem area in order to know how to create and implement strategies that help us problem solve and bring in solutions

HOW WE ALL DOING?

So this week is going to have a lot of detail with regards to current issues. How we’re all thinking and feeling about our current work environment and set up. Below you can find a link to our current WORK LIFE BALANCE segment included from within our FOCUS GROUPS. All our surveys are anonymous so you can feel free to answer without the fear of repercussions but the insights to the data findings will be what enable strategic solutions to help restore balance and the well needed change that is SPECIFIC TO THE WORK PLACE culture you’re in

You can download the full survey on the link HERE but we will be asking questions that focus on

Working hours and flexibility

Rest and recuperation

Technology and connectivity

Support and resources

Work environment and culture

Personal life impact

Overall satisfaction and well-being

Again, responses to surveys are nameless so if you’re submitting in a group the responses are all anonymous – They do however help to formulate solutions so with the whole concept of creating a WORK LIFE BALANCE culture in your workplace, this is the best place to start!

If you could, please go make yourself a cup of tea and take half an hour to sit somewhere quietly and go through these questions and to the best of your ability, answer as honestly as possible.

You can keep a copy of your responses for yourself though send it back in nameless and we will go over the results in WEEK 4 when we have our round table zoom meeting presentation!

Now, moving on to the really fun part, albeit, it’s quite an emotional one, we are going to look at ways that YOU as a person can shift your environment by looking at certain ways that YOU need to make changes

THIS IS DEEP PSYCH GUYS SO BUCKLE UP!

Let’s look at the things that have hindered our progress as individuals, ruined our chances of successful relationships, drained our energy and mood, found us stuck in the wrong relationships, with the wrong people, in the wrong job, on the wrong path, never finding peace or satisfaction….

SOUND FAMILIAR?

How many of us can put our hands up to any of the above?

These things are not random. They aren’t however habits or mindsets, stuck loops perse although they can certainly look like this. How many times have you been told, “Oh, you just need to shift your mindset”?

Well, as psychologists, especially behavioral psychologists that work with the complexities of emotions, we’re going to get deep into what we like to call EMOTIONAL GRAVITY.

Do you ever wonder why you’ve been pulled into certain situations or feel certain ways and can’t explain why? Even situations that you know aren’t good for you but somehow your brain tells you you need it, even if it hurts?

The first thing you have to understand here and it isn’t going to sound lovely, is that YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM DOES NOT WANT WANTS HEALTHY!

Sorry to say it guys but it’s truth.

As you will see in our “Hello, it’s me” Identity special that is included in this package, there is an entire segment that looks at consumer identity and propaganda written by my colleague Loic.

Loic is an ethics lawyer and philosopher who has studied human ethics and behavior for 2 decades and he puts it very clearly in this workbook for you, that humans are far from stupid but, we are very, very predictable.

Due to this, we get steered in all directions that benefit the few on top especially when it comes to consumerism because they know that WE AS HUMANS want what we think we want and NOT what we actually need. We DO NOT want anything new or unusual, out of the norm because most of us are stuck in survival mode

That is why, most of us that grew up in chaos are going to feel utterly bored in peaceful environments because our nervous systems are wired to chaos. They are addicted to stress.

Why people that got ignored as children grow up to be adults that seek out people that ignore them or take their attention away.

It is why someone that was controlled as a child turns out to be the adult that controls others

And then when they grow up they call that LEADERSHIP (Remember, noone leaves a bad job, they leave bad leaders!)

Noone is chasing what feels good, they’re chasing what feels like home. What feels familiar. Even if that familiar was hell on earth because its rooted and wired within their nervous system

This, my friends, is magnetism. It is the fundamental function of how our universe operates via electromagnetic physics and mechanics. That is a fact!

You’re not choosing anything. You’re recycling. The loop continues on and on. It’s therefore not a mindset, it’s your nervous system electromagnetically doing its job

THE 4 TYPES OF EMOTIONAL MAGNETS

MIRROR MAGNET – This is a portal of magnetic energy that pulls you towards the exact same things that replicates how you were treated or exact circumstances that happened to you when you were growing up. If your Mum was super critical and judgmental towards you growing up, you’re going to find the same adult relationships that mirror this archetype of critical. If your Dad was distant growing up you’re going to find someone that is emotionally in another country to you

ECHO MAGNET – This is a magnet that gets you to recreate pain that gives you the PLACEBO – aka the illusion that you are in control. I’m going to re-,manufacture pain that feels familiar so that it gives me a fake feeling of being in control

Now, sorry to say this but this is when you CHOSE BURNOUT, (ah the subconscious mind is complex) when you chose chaos, when you seek out drama because at least you’re the one holding the gun, right?

REVERSAL MAGNET – This is a reversal from the mirror. This is when you become the thing that hurt you. If you felt powerless, you become the dominant one. If you felt hurt by anyone, you become the bully. If you felt you were never heard, you become the loudest person in every room.

but it feels like it is because it gives you a sense of power. This is the jury that convicts the wrong guy because of a past injustice, The teacher that hates on the little kid because he reminds her of her past pains

People that are threatened become the treat. People that were punished become the punisher. People that grew up with passive disapproval end up in relationships where they aren’t able to connect.

COMPLETION MAGNET – This one is the awful dilemma of seeking out the same kind of people in our lives that hurt us when we were younger to COMPLETE THE CYCLE. Why do we do this? Because we convince ourselves that THIS TIME, I’m going to finally get the love I never got. Or I’m going to finally get to control that TYPE and get them to accept me.

Have you ever heard that internal voice that says “This time will be different. He’s going to get better. He’s changed.” – I think we can all say we’ve encountered this or people that are going through this. Yeah, well, it’s rinse- repeat- trauma.

This is the smart guy, beautiful heart great values but he keeps falling for the firecracker girl, beautiful maybe but a bag full of problems and he thinks “I can fix her, I can help her. This time it’s going to work” but what he doesn’t realise is, he’s on a life long quest to finally be enough for someone just because he never was growing up. Find someone like X and complete the process

Unresolved trauma loops and story cycles are exactly the reason that we attract bad jobs, don’t know how to communicate fall into bad relationships, end up bad leaders, end up with a bad leader as a boss, seek out unhealthy dynamics because they’re familiar BUT

They’re not good for us and this trauma bond goes round and round without any way of cutting it loose. We’re all hoping the monster will become safe or that the pain will become pleasure – Hence why there’s always such a fine line between the two

And here we all are!

HOW DO WE BREAK THE SPELL?

RE-WIRE BABY!

Spot the loop. What keeps happening that I say I don’t want but that I keep allowing?

This is why there’s such a strong link between childhood traumas and addictions. We did a post on this some years ago here

Once you’ve identified the magnet, NAME IT!

Is it a mirror, an echo, a reversal or a completion?

Trace the original source – Who taught you that this was normal? Whose love came with conditions? Who in your life made you feel that SAFETY HAS A COST?

Ufffffff deep hey!

Listen, we’re dealing with some deep rooted systemic baggage in ALL of our nervous systems. Thats why when we say, ‘HANDS UP IF YOU THINK WORKING 6 DAYS A WEEK, 8-8 IS ACCEPTABLE’ You get so many put their hands up and say, “well yeah, because this is what we have to do to keep the machine rolling” – “Well yeah, because if we don’t we’ll all be broke”

We’ve been conditioned to believe what we believe at the detriment of our own health, freedom, life purposes because we never GOT TO CHOSE it for ourselves!

We were never allowed to authentically be ourselves. We have all been products of a system. And that system has kept us wired to work work work and behave in ways we never questioned or realized was bad

So, the terrifying question, WHO IN YOUR LIFE MADE YOU FEEL LIKE SAFETY HAS A COST? Is a question for all of us.

Everything has a cost. Our homes, our utilities, our resources, our time. It’s terrifying!

But the people or environments that value you for YOU without conditions. That’s where your north compass needs to be headed.

That’s how we flip the script and start making changes.

EXPOSING THE LIE – The pull towards the magnet comes from childhood. If you go to our first ever program DEAR CHILD, you can start to learn how to unravel the web of deceit and trauma. How to see where the lies started and what you can do to untangle yourself

Be prepared, in order to find peace, this feeling is UNFAMILIAR. You might not like it. It may seem like a threat to you. The hardest part of doing any root cause trauma healing INSISTS that you go back to the root cause

IT IS THE ONLY WAY

The absence of adrenaline can quite possibly make you feel bored or like something is missing but, that unfortunately is how we heal. It is quite literally like a withdrawal and this is why there is so much emphasis right now or should be on being calm, going within, finding balance, knowing yourself

And listen, it isn’t hard. And it doesn’t need to take long. You don’t have to sit there and unravel literal years day by day but you do need to really connect into seeking the root cause and allow yourself the ability to see it for what it was so that you can cut the chord

Because only once you do that can you move into the next space, which is SETTING SAFE BOUNDARIES so that you can understand the environment around you and use it as a platform for growth and expansion where the authentic version of you can be allowed to shine

This is when you’ll start seeing all the flaws of others or even yourself. But this is also where we can learn forgiveness, empathy, trust and how then can we move forwards and build safer systems, safer environments, safer spaces.

IT STARTS WITH US – IT STARTS WITH YOU

BOUNDARIES

We’re going to go DEEP into some EMOTIONAL stuff here because THAT IS ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL! And I’m going to explain before we start exactly WHY in a business sense and in our personal lives, we need to understand what it is that we’re dealing with here when it comes to our emotions…..

So, based on all that we have gone through above, it is apparent and obvious that our world operates on magnetic pull, emotional influence and feelings put into thoughts and then ACTIONS

How many times do you go into a work environment or a social environment super happy, chirpy, upbeat but then come out a few hours later questioning why all of a sudden you feel flat? Exhausted? Depleted?

Did you ever question who you’ve been around and what they were feeling that perhaps got projected outwards and you’ve perhaps unknowingly spent the last hour in a room listening to someone moan, offload, complain and you walk out having absorbed it all?

Emotional boundaries are ESSENTIAL when we’re in groups of people, everyone thinking and feeling whatever they are and you might not realize until much later that their negativity or bad mood has literally stuck to you like glue and pulled you right down with them!

As someone that is an empath and counselor that has spent years talking to people about their complex emotions, it has taken me YEARS to practice building emotional boundaries so I can become accustomed to listening to people project or express their emotions or thoughts and I am able to leave them in the workplace and go home all good! Just ME and my thoughts and feelings. No entanglement.

But honestly, It has taken me years! No easy feat let me tell you but so often, we don’t know how to listen to someone or feel into someone without absorbing their feelings too

OBSERVE, DON’T ABSORB!

This is essential practice in the workplace whatever your job is because WE ARE ALL SO DIFFERENT and we don’t need to be tangled up in everyone elses hokeypokey…..

But, what about our clients?

We have to understand that in the world of BUSINESS, where money talks, that money that you’re talking about enables your business to function and pay your wages so to you is what it is. It’s all just the price and cost associated to how your business transacts. That’s that

But, to your costumers, the PRICE associated with the service youre offering is far more than just a cost associated with how your Business operates. To them, it is a FEELING

It can either be a feeling of gratitude, a feeling of relief, a feeling of grief, a feeling of satisfaction, a feeling of panic, a feeling of overwhelm, a feeling of anger

Because everyones circumstances are different!

I will go a little further here and trust me, I’m not being off sides when I say this but, we predominantly work in Veterinary. Have done for years. I have been booted off forums and group chats when it comes to practitioners moaning about how their clients moan about Veterinary costs

I have tried to show the side of the Client with terrible consequences because everyone gets SO emotional about it all. (Again, all FEELINGS)

I have tried to defend clients by attempting to stress that in this day and age, there aren’t many of us that have money spare for huge veterinary bills and those customers go into panic and anger.

I am then told “Well, if you can’t afford a pet, don’t get one” or “Its irresponsible pet owners that can’t afford the upkeep” or “It’s not my problem that the prices are set the way they are”

“I’m sorry guys but this is a really short sighted, narrow minded and quite frankly ignorant and irresponsible thing to say”

Can you imagine what the world would look like if only the wealthy were allowed to keep pets? It would be like the handmaids tale meets the animal kingdom! Please don’t!

And from within the realms of HUMAN ANIMAL BOND RESEARCH, which we work closely within, there are significant benefits of human animal companionship with the elderly, children, homeless, sick and vulnerable so let’s not lose our human connection and empathy because we’ve all become corporate stooges and mouthpieces.

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN AN ANIMAL AND HUMAN IS DEEPLY PERSONAL AND AVAILABLE TO US ALL – YES, LETS BE RESPONSIBLE BUT LETS ALSO APPRECIATE THAT COST ISN’T ALWAYS THE OVERRIDING OR DECIDING FACTOR NOR SHOULD IT BE IN SOMEONES RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ANIMAL – MAN AND ANIMAL WILL ALWAYS BE HERE, EVEN WHEN MONEY IS NOT!

So I have had to try explain this in a way that gets Vets to see that transactional services are terrifying to people these days BECAUSE they trigger their emotions and thus, trigger theirs!

MONEY IS A FLUID THING – It comes and it goes. You can’t be sure that the wealthy client with the matching pedigree Chow Chows will still be able to afford their monthly pedicures and blow dries in the next quarter likewise, you can’t be sure that the homeless guy on the street corner might not luck out so that he can finally pay for his dogs spinal surgery

I had one Vet, a good guy come to me and say that a homeless guy he knew with an old lab with terrible hip dysplasia was trying to create a gofundme to raise funds for her surgery and in exchange was making rock and pebble art to anyone that would donate. His art was amazing and he raised above and beyond the funds where he used the remainder to put into the charity box for anyone else that needed it

See, HUMANS ARE AMAZING when we are humbled enough to be so!

Animals aren’t a luxury or commodity. They are like our children and we are very entitled to pursue our relationships with them without money being the deciding factor – responsible and safe pet bonding yes, but that shouldn’t come with an entitlement certificate or judgment / penalty for not earning enough to pay for extortionate vet bills

The point I’m making is, that the world of Business is often cruel. It divides us and causes problems WHEN WE CAN’T SEE IT FOR WHAT IT REALLY IS

Transactions are ALWAYS emotional. They always come with feelings involved.

The moment we understand how feelings related to costs and pricing are developed, then we can adjust the way in which we communicate with our clients and our colleagues.

It isn’t personal to you. It might seem like it is because that person is in direct contact with you as the representative of that Business but the moment you say ‘I understand you. I hear you. Let’s see what we can do to make something work’ and allow them to find peace in the scenario then they will settle into a cooperative form of communication with you

Anger and panic triggers Anger and panic triggers anger panic – ROUND AND ROUND WE GO

Tit for tat

But you don’t have to absorb it as soon as you know, it’s transactional. Its just a feeling

It comes – It goes

This is the same with regards to how we communicate with every single one of our colleagues regardless of rank or title.

The moment you know how to implement boundaries is the moment you can get through a work day without catching and bagging every single crumb of stress and anger.

That is when you can literally leave that bag at the door when you leave work and head home clean and clear so that when you open the front door to see your partner, kids, dogs, cats, you can just BE IN THE MOMENT WITH THEM……

WE NEED TO START HERE!

Now before we get onto the IN DEPTH level of content about the world of EMOTIONS, one further thing feel is really essential to mention is the topic of the sexes

Yeah, eye roll! Oh shit, she’s going here…..And I know so many people tire of hearing about the gender issues and vulnerabilities but, MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT! PERIOD…..

Ah, periods! Yes! I’m going there!

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES – AUDIO BELOW!

For the ones that are burnt out, let’s be honest. Statistically from our data and from data sources just about EVERYWHERE, we can see quite clearly that the ones raising their hands and letting us all know they’re not coping are of a certain age, have put in certain years in the game and are now unable to maintain the same level of function and commitment they always used to

Let me add this piece here from Dr. Mindy Peltz, where she speaks about her upcoming book on the mental health of menopausal women. She makes it very clear that Suicide rates in women are highest between the ages of 45 and 55.

She clearly states that after 40, our estrogen levels go up and down, which is why one day you might be super, the next you crash and we seem to have no control over the imbalance. She makes it clear that these roller coaster imbalances make those living with a woman going through the changes go from ‘She’s fantastic to ‘who even is she?’ from one day to the next and for the woman herself, trying to figure out WHO SHE IS is also part of that existential crisis and journey of self-discovery

She later says that progesterone also plummets after 40, these days even as early as 35, and when that happens, we are naturally LESS STRESS RESILIENT! So all those little things are going to irritate us like they never have before.

Then, as estrogen finally times out and the woman no longer receives her monthlies, our memory function is not at all like it used to be. Holding onto information is near impossible in comparison to how it always was. The frustration of forgetting things can lead so many women to then become increasingly paranoid, unstable, unsure of themselves, unable to trust themselves like they used to.

During this time of memory loss and unstable change, you might also find you’re repeating yourself and it might not become apparent to you perse but it is to everyone else around you and when it’s brought to light again, this can lead to uncertainty and worry. Do you have any idea as to the numbers of women that then google symptoms of dementia?

So between the ages of about 40 to 55, the woman’s brain has to recalibrate to these losses and adjustments. It is normal however because we don’t know how to seek balance in our bodies or external lives, it is so difficult to seemingly reach this objective of implementing balance

Women in the workplace are expected to carry on soldiering like men however our bodies and brains are completely different. A man is not cyclical like we are. They are way more linear so yeah sure, for them to operate in a linear fashion on a daily basis is pretty steady away but for us as women to be told to operate linearly, it just isn’t possible

We need way more breaks, way more down time, way more nurturing, way more understanding towards what we’re going through yet the workplace isn’t geared for this at all

The workplace is a place of high stress and this environment is literally killing women.

Women have 78% of Autoimmune disease. They’re also twice as likely to be diagnosed with PTSD and much more likely to be prescribed anti-anxiety medication or anti-depressant medications.

During the covid epidemic, the New York times had an article titled ‘Society’s shock absorbers’, and they say that women took on the role of absorbing the stresses of their families and their spouses during the covid pressures and they felt guilty when they weren’t successful in alleviating their families or spouses stresses.

So if you understand how the culture that imposes its own expectations on certain groups, adding to their stress, then there’s absolutely nothing mysterious about why women have more autoimmune disease

JUST A DISCLAIMER HERE: I’m living in a Greek speaking Country. My kids speak Greek therefore I have grown fond of the world of etymology. Looking at the origin of language and meaning.

The word AUTO comes from αὐτός. The meaning of that word stemming from Greek is SELF. It is a reflective pronoun that is carried into the masculine and feminine and is then applied into anything that is an AUTO function. But the primary meaning is SELF. So, SELF-IMMUNE literally means that we are working AGAINST our natural function. This is anti-natural and thus creates misalignment and illness in the body and brain because it is not what our natural environment is expecting of us. It’s a complete pole shift and gender shaft from what reality should look like

If you look at the cultural assignment role of women in a patriarchal society, those are all the characteristics that women are supposed to take on and they’re made to feel guilty if they don’t

The woman’s guilt is another control mechanism on the part of the culture, and this was true long before covid so why is it that the gender ratio was 1:1 but now it’s 3.5 women to every man.

What a big mystery! So what has changed? If you factor in that in this patriarchal culture and patriarchal cultures before capitalism as well, women had the jobs of being the emotional shock absorbers but now, they’ve also been given a role as wage earners because of the increased economic pressure on middle and lower classes AND because of the natural desire of women to go out there and express themselves outside the home, all of which would have been ok, had the other role of sharing the emotional burden been shared, but it hasn’t. It still falls upon women to hold it all up

WE ARE LITERALLY KILLING OURSELVES

Listen, I’m not sharing any of this to put men down or make men feel in any way guilty either for this dynamic but rather to give credit where credits due to the harsh reality that needs exposing so that men can hopefully come to the table and see us for what we are and what we’re going through and show compassion to our circumstances so that that emotional burden can be shared.

It needs to start here! Men have a far easier ride in a patriarchal system because it is set up to function how they naturally function.

Yes, there are obvious concerns for men as well. The incessant push to demasculinize them at every corner. The fact that men when they reach a certain age also suffer depression and confusion because they have been encouraged to not express themselves emotionally therefore cannot healthily communicate their feelings to themselves or those they love out of fear of belittlement or rejection.

The fact that men are far more likely to feel lonelier than women as they aren’t as social as us or able to communicate as openly as us

So do you see, how THE WHOLE SYSTEM is rigged against us and the only way to flip it back to balance is to stop fighting wars against each other, men versus women, rich versus poor, intellect versus emotions, body versus brain

At the end of this entire presentation there will be a link to a program we created called ’THE ART OF CYCLE SYNCING’ and it is a 114 page document full of tips, tricks, recipes, poetry, links and podcasts for any of you experiencing the changes – Men, you can also have a read as it’s good for you to know too and please share with your lady lovers etc so that it can help a lady out

The only way out of this mess is to go within and recalibrate everything in a way that works for us individually and this requires space away from stressful environments, toxic people, toxic scenarios and cultures and gain an understanding of who we are emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally so that this can be achieved!

And on that, LET’S DO THAT – LET’S GO THERE!

Let’s have A DEEP DEEP look at emotions and my goodness this is deep so be prepared, when you click on the link below, there is some reading to do and some listening to consider so make yourself a cup of tea and take yourself somewhere quiet

THIS ONE’S FOR YOU TOO MEN, DON’T WIMP OUT BROTHERS!

EMOTIONS

THE WORLD OF EMOTIONS – SET THE STAGE, TAKE CONTROL, ASSIGNMENT INSIDE. The link here is to take you on a deep dive course about ROOT CAUSE WORK AND EMOTIONS. IF YOU WANT TO MAKE CHANGES, YOU HAVE TO START HERE!

So guys, that was week 1 complete!

Hopefully you have learned a little bit about where any problem areas lay, magnetic behavior loops and how to tackle the root causes and how to identify the world of emotions, triggers and how to set safe boundaries!

It is a fine art to put this into practice but it is the ONE FOUNDATIONAL AND FUNDAMENTAL thing that can really help create a framework of balance and the moment you set the ball rolling, the snowball effect will take heed and THAT MY FRIENDS, IS HOW WE MAKE THE SHIFT!

Let’s move into week 2, where we are going to be looking at HOW TO PUT LIFE BALANCE INTO PRACTICE!