WELCOME TO WEEK 3 

THE PSYCH LAB – Your very own therapy session

Ok, this is where I’m going to put my psychotherapist hat on here and guide you through some of my learning, understanding and share some psychotherapeutic tools and methods to help you become your very own therapist so that each and every time you need to have a check in or a check out, you’ve got the applications and also the understanding on how you can apply these techniques and strategies in the most profound and hopefully helpful way

So, back in 2018, I was at a crossroads of working in Veterinary HR and was growing really bored of being ‘stuck’ in this work model that was also breaking me. Also keeping me hostage within the imbalance and I wasn’t sure where I could help or even if I wanted to

So I set out to go back to study. As a linguist / philosopher and communications lifey, way back when, I took what I knew about comms and positioned myself in HR. But then I got really disillusioned with HR because it became so apparent that RESOURCES FOR HUMANS weren’t being transferred to humans. They were being transferred to corporate leaders. Resources such as our precious time and hard work to feed the dead beast of CORPSE WORLD on the back of our blessed efforts. 

So in 2018, I decided to study Psychology. Why? Because I saw that if we’re to make any actual changes in our personal individual and work lives and give ourselves some actual goddamn resources, we have to have the full package of info required to make the changes

I already knew about the philosophies of live. But what about the mind stuff? The neuro / brain stuff and how our operating systems work, how our nervous systems work and then how the questions asked in between these portals occur in ways that often we can’t answer or give an explanation. Ah, humans. How we always need and want an explanation. COLD HARD FACTS give us all the answers right? 

WRONG!

The weird and wonderful, dark and hidden, obscure and abstract, illusive and fantastical. Theres so much about the human experience that isn’t obvious or clinical and as I’ve said many times before, I grew tired of only having clinical conversations in spaces that were cold, corporate, contracted, obvious, explanatory, done, dusted, what the hell next?…..Theres no sense in it, no magic, no spark, no deeper lessons to learn it was all just so blah

So I ventured out to study things that allowed me access to open up different ways of looking at things, thinking about things, finding reason, finding rawness, finding random, magic, otherworldly almost and in doing so, my whole life shifted in ways I never ever imagined

A country move. A shift in my business. A shift in my marriage (a good one but that had to have its trials first before it got good). A loss of a home. A loss of identity. A loss of beliefs and security, ideals, friends, family members but in order to find a whole lot of faith, connection, truth, divinity

To find , one must first lose….

Why am I telling you this?

Well, over the years I have listened to many many people share their thoughts and emotions with me. You can find a little voice note below that may be relevant to everything I’m saying throughout this in particular with you Vets and nurses in mind (If you’re not from Veterinary you can still listen as I’m sure you can relate) and it was related to suicide and a vet friend of ours that contests to the fact that the industry has died and everyone is now just operating in a corporeal world aka corporate / dead / from the ashes of what was such a vibrant industry and for good reason. The identity and spark of what once was has just fallen into ashes and dust and now the daily operations come from the morgue of rigid, cold and empty droning monotony. No feelings anymore. No personality. Gone

DEAD

But, if things are ever going to change or make a come back…This kind of needs to happen. If there’s ever to be a re-birth, you have to drag in to the pits first, dissect the bits that don’t want to come into the future, have a reckoning, have a funeral of sorts, bury the bones and watch the ashes rise

Take a little listen if you will about the loss of a vet that couldn’t stand to have no personality in the hell zone anymore and you’ll see why and how afterwards what I mean by what I’m about to say

That as clinicians (or again, really any modern business thats purpose is soley to generate profit without any real other intrinsic value or genuine purpose) you spend so much of your time being clinical, cold, cutting, calculated, linear…..

But there’s a whole world of colour. A whole space that exists around this corporeal world that is full of vibrancy and magic but you’re not encouraged to see it, feel it, bring it in….So we die. We live in the morgue…..No personality or individuality allowed here. Which is why this poor vet killed himself as he wasn’t allowed to exist within this space that was trying to cut everyone down and out and turn you all into obedient, cold, hard drones in exchange for a measly paycheck

So the reason I am sharing my thoughts and feelings is because of exactly this. I feel that bringing personal feelings and stories, moments I can share about my experiences or those of others might be the very thing needed in order to truly help someone in need

You think by going to a shrink and lying on the couch while you answer their cold, droning questions it’s going to make you feel any better?

IS IT F*CK (Pardoner moi)

What makes people feel better is connection. Empathy.

REAL EXPERIENCES SHARED BY REAL PEOPLE.

Voices that express truth from the heart and give meaning to situations. Minds that can understand and relate to what is truly hidden within you and magnetically allow it to all come up to the surface and out so that you can feel safe in sharing your story too

You think a shrink offers you safe space? They offer you corporate space and then they analyse your words and present it back to you clinically, with a bill, prescription to numb you and a repeat appointment. No heart involved. A doctor’s office offers you a clinical interpretation also but not once has any of these professionals ever cried with you and said, ‘yeah, I’ve gone through that too – This is how it made me feel’ –

NO

Feelings aren’t valid here. The physical body is assessed and analysed in a cold hard black and white sense. A slab of meat. Organs and fibers are nothing more than organs and fibers. If you can’t see a problem within the physical it doesn’t exist. There’s nothing to treat. It’s all in your head

Meanwhile, It is there. There is something to treat but it’s not in your head. It’s in your emotional body, your heart, your feelings, senses. You cannot SEE these things but my god believe me, They’re very real and they’re really there

But clinically, you’ll laugh if I say this but at least I’m here pouring stuff out, reaching for connection, asking for divine guidance, tapping into something primal, something higher that the human ego brain and the goddamn intellect which only the stupid think is the be all and end all of our capacity and what we’re here to seek and achieve

No friends, there’s far more….And you know it. You all know it and sense it and this is why there’s an enormous issue in the darkness with suicide, drugs, escapism, regret, denial, hiding yourselves away and playing a dead role because it’s safer to do that in the comfortable hell we’ve all co-created than it ever is to take the mask off and face an uncomfortable unknown….

FOR A VETERINARY COLLEAGUE THAT LOST HIS MD TO SUICIDE LAST YEAR, THIS IS A LITTLE AUDIO FOR ALL OF YOU TO SAY, ‘WE SEE YOU, WE HEAR YOU’ THIS WHOLE THING IS FOR ALL OF YOU

Which is why I share my stories because if anything is ever going to be real, we have to share. If ever there is to be a connection, we have to share. If ever there is going to be union, equality, trust, stability, faith, we have to share. But not from ego. From heart

Whenever I go on my phone I am bored to death and quite frankly enough of the amount of freakin ‘influencers’ selling empty cloud and voices I hear that claim to give you all the answers, insights, truths etc.. Fake gurus, neon Gods, beautiful naked models selling you their story so you can be just like them….except you’re you and thank god you are! And the world is full of noise and distractions that actually, I don’t want to share my voice because it’s just one among many and my throat hurts from talking too much and I just want peace away from the clown world and circus performers but, I will say what I have to say now, write what I have to write and then when I’m done, if any of you have found a single nugget of use from any of it then great, if not, great and I will then go on to create my art in silence, retreat into my private space in silence and know that I have held a hand out to every single one of you that might have needed it…..

Much about what we have included the ‘HELLO, IT’S ME’ workshop and why into this space is to allow you the free time and freedom for you to explore who you are through various portals and spaces that the everyday doesn’t ever offer you. Questions, perspectives, topics you never thought to consider, spaces you never thought to walk into, places you shut away and buried boxes of memories and forgot about because life got to busy and adult to go back and re-visit.

THIS SPACE EXISTS for you to be able to sit and ponder new ways, new feels, new opportunities. new versions of you where you can GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to just consider things you tucked away in a box and forgot

Maybe it’s time you opened the box

Maybe that’s exactly what you need so that you can start to re-connect and if all of us did this and tapped back into ourselves and slowly but surely started sharing our stories, our memories, our remembrances, our magic then we could bring some personality and magic back to the corporeal morgue world we’re all dragging ourselves around in every day

The ashes are pretty much where we are right now. They’re smouldering, They’re simmering. The flame is subtle yet potent. The wrath of our lives gets stirred up and from down here in the pits it grows into anger, fury, hatred, fear, bitterness, but then turns into sadness, regret, sorrow, remorse, we don’t want this anymore. We’ve had enough. We’re tired, growing old, everythings the same and all been done before. 

We’re now just making re-makes of the same old using the same actors for every play, in the same world where nothing changes. 

What comes next if anything at all?

Creator energy is molded in the flame. It ignites and fans flames into directions we put our thoughts and feelings into. Remember, the devil can’t create. But he can steer us into situations where we create for him. Situations that look like fear and chaos so that he can harness that energy to keep his world alive. Situations of division and hatred so that his world can thrive. Control and power through a world that we keep upholding so the beast can keep feeding off our energy

Exhausting isn’t it!

But what happens if we all say no?  And we start to create out of

SPACES THAT THE DEVIL CAN’T REACH?

Higher spaces and places built out of unity. Peace. Genuine togetherness. Trust. Lightness. Sacredness. LOVE

The devil isn’t interested in a sacred covenant. It’s power comes through breaking those spaces and inserting itself. We’re seeing it now in early education. Children don’t need families anymore. You can just drop them off and leave them all day from sunrise to bedtime. Soon, they’ll be telling you, DON’T BOTHER PICKING THEM UP and they’re selling you this to offer you WORK LIFE BALANCE but it’s a lie because they’re further cutting away at family units and taking your children as their own, to be nurtured by the state. Children don’t need parents anymore. Mothers don’t need to raise their babies. As young as 9 months old, a stranger of the state can do it for you!

Again, the handmaids tale is alive and well and we’re allowing it because either we’re too dumb to see behind the veil of lies like we have been blinded with, the many psyops they’ve thrown our way over the last few years or we’re too bought and paid for in which case, you’d better stop listening to this now because I’d be wasting your time

AS YOU CAN SEE, I’M NOT MINCING MY WORDS IN PART 3 – LIFE IS BRUTAL SO YOU’VE GOT TO BE TOO!

Sacred destroys the devil. Can you see now, this is where we are? Where we have been for so long. And isn’t it time to come out of that and find new ways of directing our energy, our emotions, our thoughts and feelings, away from this CORPSE world and let it all collapse so that we can RISE FROM THE ASHES and build new ways and new worlds together?

You don’t think it’s possible? Ah you have no faith? Don’t worry, I’ve got bags full. I’ll lend you some. You’ve got no trust? Ah because you’ve been taught to not. You’ve been programmed to fear each other and yourselves. You don’t know who you are anymore? I can show you ways to remember but, you already know that don’t you?

I can lend you my hand and I’ll never let go. 

It’s ok. I’ve been there too but then I woke up. Then I remembered

Ok, enough of the  wa wa wa

Lets get on to finding ways that you can take all of what I’ve just said, all of how you feel and put it into some way to make some sense out of the thoughts and weight of it all

There are many forms of therapeutic aids we can embody into our healing and progression. I have always used a variety of combined principles across any kind of psych / mentoring work whether it’s with children or adults (or even myself) with the most effective being a combo of 

• Somatic therapy
• Gestalt therapy
• CBT
• Art therapy (We have a workshop opening up this October if any of you want to join in)

There is also a form of therapy called NARM therapy. Short for NeuroAffective Relational Model. This is a great modality as well though is more particular for trauma survivors or those that have suffered severe childhood trauma

If this is you, feel free to reach out to us privately if you would like to find ways of using this protocol in further detail

The reason these particular models works so well for fundamental relational function is because they focus on the fundamental tasks and functional unity of psychological and biological development AKA the body brain connection

With a combination of all of the above, we specifically look at five primary organizing principles. They are:

• Supporting connection (if no connection exists, how can we find re-connection?)
• Exploring identity – At this point we can establish that this entire workshop is a somatic CBT based re-connection manual
• Supporting emotional development and completion
• Working in present time
• Supporting re-regulation of all systems of the body (and outside – the mirror mirror effect will naturally occur if we work on self first)

Now remember above where I posted the voicenote about the vet that took his own life and the amount of Techs now helping themselves to meds from the dispensary….This is why these models are being mentioned. 

If any one of you is struggling with addiction, suicidal thoughts, extreme burnout and disconnect, we have to understand the complexities surrounding this situation

Now for those of you not affected by this you might want to skip on over to the RITUALS OVER ROUTINES part of this module down below but I’m going to spend a few moments giving some attention with intention to this particular connection / trust / survival issue as I do know that there are MANY and increasing so in the veterinary sector that perhaps need to hear this….

SO HERE GOES:

THE FIVE THEMES FOR A SENSE OF SELF AND MIND-BODY CONNECTION

When childhood trauma and any other form of trauma and / or difficulties interrupt the development of the core capacities, people can develop one or several of five adaptive survival styles to cope with the dysregulation, disorganization, and isolation caused by the neglect of their core needs. In adulthood, these survival styles cause disconnection from the body, distorted identity, and inability to self-regulate. 

• Connection: The ability to be in touch with oneself and others and feel belonging
• Atunement: The ability to recognize one’s own needs and reach out for help when one cannot meet their needs alone
• Trust: The ability to have faith in oneself and one’s choices as well as others; healthy dependence and interdependence
• Autonomy: The ability to set limits, speak one’s mind without feeling guilt or fear, and set boundaries
• Love-Sexuality: The ability to open one’s heart to loving relationships with themselves and others and embrace sexual intimacy in viable, healthy relationships

So you see it tends to be that our wounds are often formed and founded in childhood but that isn’t always the case – Systemically, we’re all affected. How we chose to respond or react to systemic pressure tends to have been formulated in childhood but even still, you might be a high functioning adult that comes from a great childhood but the pressures of adult life, especially in highly toxic environments or relationships might have only turned your head later on in life – The importance of considering that trauma and abuse can be anywhere and happen at any time…..

Though these survival styles are limiting, people are often too afraid to break free of them. Here, we’re going to look at ways that we can experience growth by strengthening our developed skills and breaking down barriers to fulfill our five core needs.

I SHAKE IT OFF

FOR ALL YOU VETS AND NURSES OUT THERE – HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN ANIMAL TREMBLE WHEN ITS IN A STATE OF SHOCK AND TRAUMA? IN THE WILD, WE KNOW THAT INSTINCTIVELY, ANIMALS TREMOR AND SHAKE TO RELEASE TRAUMA FROM THEIR BODIES. THIS HELPS THEM TO RETURN TO A NATURAL STATE OF BALANCE AFTER A THREAT, TRAUMA OR SHOCK EXPERIENCE

But, humans? We don’t do that. We hold on to and repress our stress because we’ve been disconnected from our body / brain and our instinctive response is no longer active

That stress then turns into FIGHT, FLIGHT, FREEZE and our nervous systems then become utterly dysregulated, disconnected and we no longer understand who we are, how we are and that physical stress stores in the body and shows up in ways such as pain, weight gain or loss, hormone imbalances, heart and mind health concerns, high blood pressure, diabetes, autoimmune diseases and so so so many more diseases and imbalances

I don’t need to tell you guys though right? You’re the PhD’s here but DISEASE is quite literally DIS-EASE in other words PRO-COMPLICATIONS…..

And we don’t want this right?

So how can we do what the animals do and shake it off? And FYI you might hear me say this and be like ‘Um nope the animals we see in clinic don’t shake it off’ but I’m talking more about WILD ANIMALS – You can see here in this breakdown the analogy with the polar bear after being chased by flying craft…..

But, we have that natural instinct too no?

Aren’t animals here to show us this? To teach us how to get back to nature and alignment?

There’s a really great PTSD therapy called TRE – It translates to THERAPEUTIC TREMORING – Releasing all the pent up stress and tension from your body and my goodness let me tell you, IT WORKS!

Therapies / methods like the TRE method, forms of somatic therapies, grounding, anti-gravity techniques like Feldenkrais and Gestalt, CBT and art therapy are revolutionary for shaking off stress and finding out who you are all over again with the free space to breath, connect and re-invent the canvas again…..

So, TRE. 

What is this?

You feel tense, distracted, and on edge, every day.

No amount of sleep, deep breathing, or screen breaks make it stop.

Because your nervous system isn’t relaxed.

It’s stuck in survival mode, and your body doesn’t know how to come out.

The solution is not mental.

It’s physical.

Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises (TRE) activate your body’s built-in stress discharge mechanism: neurogenic tremors.

These are involuntary muscular shakes that signal the system to downregulate

Here’s what happens:

Your nervous system stores stress in deep stabilizing muscles, especially the psoas, a key fight-or-flight structure. TRE targets and releases this tension, reducing cortisol and activating recovery pathways.

This is not therapy.

It is neuromuscular regulation.

It’s used by military units, pro athletes, and trauma specialists.

It works without talking, thinking, or controlling the outcome.

You initiate the sequence, then your system takes over.

Want to try it?

Here are 3 effective ways to trigger the tremor reflex courtsey of a colleague of mine Tom Zyd:

KNEE SQUATS

PSOAS DECOMPRESSIONS

SUPINE BUTTERFLY RELEASE

The result is a full-system reset

Most report improved sleep, mental clarity, and reduced reactivity after just one session.

It works because it bypasses the cortex and communicates safety to the brainstem.

Another thing to look at when we want to consider NERVOUS SYSTEM REGULATION, especially if you’ve gone numb, lost interest and the vibe is all off…..As the voices in veterinary keep telling us is the case. Let’s consider something you might never have heard of

ANHEDONIA – combining an- (not) + hedone (pleasure)

LET’S BREAK IT DOWN

You’re not lazy.

You’ve lost the ability to feel pleasure.

Chronic stress rewires your reward system—killing motivation, joy, and drive.

But this isn’t your fault.

If you’ve never heard of anhedonia…

You stop enjoying work.

You feel distant from people.

Even things you used to love feel like a chore.

You’re not broken, you’re disconnected from the part of your brain that feels reward.

It’s not burnout from doing too much.

It’s anhedonia—the inability to feel anything at all.

It starts in the brain.

Chronic stress activates your HPA axis, a system designed for survival, not happiness.

This floods your body with cortisol and weakens dopamine signaling in your reward circuits.

Your brain gets stuck in threat mode

When dopamine pathways get dulled, motivation dies.

You stop wanting, doing, caring.

Not because you’re lazy, because your neurochemistry changed.

This is called anhedonia.

And it’s far more common than most people think.

There are 2 types:

• Consummatory – You do the thing, feel nothing.

• Anticipatory – You don’t even want to do the thing.

Most people struggling with stress and burnout experience both.

But they have no name for it until now.

Unchecked, anhedonia leads to:

• Emotional numbness

• Isolation

• Chronic fatigue

• Loss of meaning

It’s a neurological shutdown, not a personality flaw.

The reward system goes dark to protect you.

But it can be reset.

Here’s the truth:

You can’t “push through” anhedonia.

You have to retrain your nervous system.

This isn’t mindset work. It’s neuroscience.

Here are 5 proven techniques to restore your reward sensitivity:

1. Dopamine Decompression

Reduce overstimulation:

• Cut back on rapid dopamine spikes (scrolling, caffeine, porn, sugar)

• Replace with monotask activities (walking, deep work)

Why it works:

This restores your baseline sensitivity to dopamine.

2. Vagal Nerve Activation

Use physiological signals to exit stress mode:

• Cold exposure (face splash, shower)

• Slow, diaphragmatic breathing (6 breaths/min)

• Humming or gargling

These stimulate the vagus nerve, shifting your body from fight-or-flight to calm-and-reward.

3. Behavioral Activation (BA)

This is a gold-standard depression treatment:

• Schedule small, achievable activities tied to past sources of joy

• Do them regardless of current motivation

Action precedes emotion. Not the other way around.

4. Frictionless Goal Structuring

WOOP method (Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan):

• Set specific, time-bound micro-goals

• Anticipate emotional obstacles

• Create “if-then” plans to overcome resistance

It improves motivation by activating the brain’s goal-reward pathways (prefrontal cortex + striatum).

5. Structured Cognitive Reframing (CBT)

Challenge distorted thinking patterns using proven CBT techniques:

• Write down recurring negative thoughts

• Label the cognitive distortion

• Reframe with evidence-based alternatives

This improves prefrontal regulation of limbic activity, critical for emotional stability and reward perception.

None of these are hacks.

They’re physiological and psychological tools backed by clinical research.

Stress hijacked my nervous system and I didn’t even realize it.

If that’s you, trust! You can heal this….I did, I will again, and so can you!

You see, we have to stop taking pills, masking the pain, problem and period and start taking accountability and responsibility for healing and resetting ourselves if we ever want anything to change!

Are you in?

Let’s move on to RITUALS OVER ROUTINES – Our final piece of week 3 that’s going to demonstrate to you how creating personal rituals can be far more powerful and effective than routines

Let’s see how:

RITUALS OVER ROUTINES

For any of you that might have listened to my personal story with regards to my own health related struggles that is in our ART OF CYCLE SYNCING program and included in last weeks transcript where I open up quite transparently about how I have never been a conformist and refuse to relate or participate in toxic systemic structures, you will know however, that while I might be rebellious about breaking out and away from systems and frameworks, (and yes, I am a lover of breaking down powerhouses), that doesn’t mean by any means that I am anti-systemic. 

NO WAY!

I LOVE a system but it has to be a healthy one. It has to be a wholesome, authentic one that I know has my best interests at heart and isn’t going to work against me. 

Now that is the very reason why at the beginning of this entire workshop, I focused so much on highlighting the systemic errors and faults in the founded framework that need to be shown in order to know what needs breaking down, removing, re-integrating, recreating

And we all know it deep down. If any of us have worked in the corporate world for long enough we instinctively know that they don’t care about us or show up in ways that look to promote our wellbeing or give something back to us that honors our hard work. 

Sadly for the most part, the system uses us as tools to amplify its own fragmented and distorted worth and will pay us pittance for the pleasure of upholding it. 

I for one, cannot find it in myself to adhere to these structures and will not work for them or prop them up as it goes against all my core integral beliefs and values and the reason I try to demonstrate integrity in healing and creating new systems within you, in your homes, in your lives, in your overall health and wellbeing and in your experiences is to show you that this can very successfully be achieved but, it has to come from you first

YOU have to be the one to take yourself out of the system in order to create ones that you know can work for you!

And I don’t mean quit your job. I mean, see it for what it is but remove your sacred emotions from it. Don’t let it get to you personally for it doesn’t care about you as a person. Just show up and leave but, where things DO matter, ie, your home, your family, your friends, your free time, your health, your finances, your spiritual focus, your YOU, that’s where you need to focus your inner system

The rest will follow

BUT, doesn’t that seem like a cop out? Just turn up and switch off?

I had a few friends in Veterinary say to me – ‘Yeah but if I have to show up to work every day in this sterile, clinical monotony, how can I find value and integrity in this?’ 

Is it not pointless then to continue doing this pointless endeavour just for the sake of salary exchange?

And so I asked them, ‘Well, what do you want to do? You wanted to be a vet why?’

And they would tell me, because they love working with animals. They love finding ways to connect and communicate with animals. They were hoping for more meaning. And yes, while the whole world thinks that vets spend their day petting bunnies and playing with dogs and cats, it’s far from the reality of their daily working life – So I ask them….

Well, if thats the case, why aren’t you doing it?

And they’ll tell me, the system doesn’t allow for that. We operate on a 1st opinion consult basis back to back and that’s all we do. No time for petting bunnies or conversing with clients in a way that is human / animal REAL

So I say to them, ‘well then THAT’S when you need to create new systems. That’s when you need to get creative!’

Do you know how many pet owners and every day people would love to hear from vets about something that isn’t clinical or boring? Something that isn’t about the bills or the prescriptions. Something that isn’t about consults or procedures?

THEY WANT TO HAVE REAL CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THEIR PETS and how you guys show up for animals in a way that makes sense to them. Brings meaning to them. They want to hear about how you guys communicate with animals. What you’ve seen and witnessed that’s NOT always clinical and oppressive. They want to hear your funny cat stories, your quirky experiences, ways you can help them on the side of all the clinical stuff that can help them further connect deeper!

Remember guys, animals, especially in the UK and US are like children to people. People are OBSESSED with their animals. They want to find out about the deepest ways to connect and communicate in ways that will deepen their bond. In ways that will bring magic into their lives with their furry friends. In ways that are HUMAN!

And you guys have the direct line of access to enable this!

Don’t give me excuses about how you can’t because you have to adhere to strict corporate clinical protocols! I’ve set this up to bring meaning back into your lives on the side of working a million jobs. I’m burnt out and exhausted too but if you want MEANING and authenticity and POWER in your profession with the ability, knowledge and understanding that you guys have then CREATE ways to communicate with pet owners OUTSIDE of the dying structure! Away from the arguments about the damn cost of things. It’s up to you to fix!

Set up community gatherings, chat groups, forums, workshops, creative pieces that offer your experience in ways that clients will thank you for instead of begrudge you for! 

You all do dog behaviour courses – For who? The corporates? And what good does that do when it should be going to THE PEOPLE that have dogs that need those insights. Not just for insider academic intel so you can tick off your CPD quota. No, feed it back to where it matters!

TO THE PUBLIC directly from the source (AKA YOU) and feed back your power to the people because isn’t that why you went to vet school? To learn how to care for animals and make sure that pet owners have the correct resources and access to also care for their pets. I’m sure you didn’t start off in vet school so you could see how much you could line the silky pockets of Evidensia while you take away nothing while your clients lose faith in you!

NOPE FRIENDS – That’s why this workshop is called POLE SHIFT – It’s time to take back your power and channel it towards what really counts, away from what really doesn’t

In the US there’s a lot of talk about vets, nurses and auxiliary staff all going in together to set up cooperative practices where they can all sharehold together. Ways to set up businesses where EVERYONE from the main vet to the reception staff get equal profit share at the end of the day for all of their hard work…..

If you’re truly done with the bullying corporates, this is something you all need to look in to

It’s not hard to rally enough interest in group forums. You already all do this (I see it every day) so put it to good use and move it in the right direction. 

Sure, it might start off as a sideline, side hustle project but at least you’re being authentic. At least you’re trying to recreate and direct what matters to you and where your values are in the workplace so that you can start to re-invent something that matters FOR THE WHOLE

I know a number of practitioners in the UK that have moved into private consulting or set up community animal projects, independent research projects and so on where they speak openly and directly to THE PUBLIC, AKA THE PEOPLE about animal welfare and connection. 

You don’t have to ask permission to do this. The human animal bond is something that is available to us ALL to experience. You guys however, have the direct line to channel this so you best get creative with ways to do it that can make your work lives and experiences in this field more fulfilling!

The options are limitless!

Anyway, creating new systems, as I’ve always said, has to start from within. Small steps over none.

So we start with ourselves – So, LET’S START!

RITUALS OVER ROUTINES 

So, one of the things that I like to integrate, and going back a moment to the TRE tremoring, shaking it off thing that I know many think it a weird concept or a peculiar endeavour especially when we see people taking the practice of it too far by starting twerk clubs or filming group sessions of new age guru led hippy rooms full of people screaming, crying and getting all wild….

That madness aside, you don’t need to join the circus for this to be a realistic practice that can have phenomenal outcomes and results. I know, because I have put it into practice I can tell you

So, as a lover of ROUTINES, I have a pretty good schedule for our weeklies and monthlies over on my fridge. Printed out and colour coded to the max and everyone in my house ticks the boxes and gets their S*it done otherwise noone parties on the weekend…..

ROUTINES VALUE REWARDS 

I love a routine and as we can see from the slides where there are the comparisons between the routines and rituals, for me BOTH count. 

I have started turning my routines INTO rituals. I’ve gone one step further!

So, the TRE practice, I have now created a pretty good yoga session for myself that integrates traditional yoga methods that I know work, so for me mainly hatha based practices and then, at the end of each practice, I spend about 20 mins doing some TRE methods where I release everything through my psoas, hips, spine etc doing very deep floor based, anti-gravity releasing as the end of my practice. 

And I do this twice a week as a gift to myself. I do it on the nights that I don’t eat dinner too late so 5pm, last meal and then I do this at about 9pm when I’m about ready for bed and I set myself up with some soft music, a candle or 2, some calming essential oils and I go deep for about 90 mins just me by myself in this practice that used to be a routine but is now a ritual

The ritual is built or rather grows from the lighting of the candle, the intention I set when I do that, the music in the background, for me often classical, chopin in particular is my beloved most fave and then afterwards, I have the ritual of rolling up my mat, making a chamomile tea, taking a magnesium supplement, having a quick hot shower and getting into bed

Now, just a mo. If you’re listening to this and you’re like, yeah ok crazy, wtf this isn’t my vibe I don’t do oils, I’m not that deep and weird…..That’s fine. My lifestyle isn’t for everyone I’m only making suggestions. You can find your own ways right…..

One thing I will say before I proceed is that I work a lot with clients that have very serious complex OCD traumas. And I’m not talking about OCD as in they like to clean a lot. No, I’m taking deep control issues and blocks that they put in their own way that prohibit their ability to break down control mechanisms in order to have more of an organic flow in their lives. They refuse to find flow because the flow terrifies them. Flow to a lot of people resembles no structure. It doesn’t have boundaries that are tangible or attainable. That they can hold onto, therefore they put up walls and build blocks around every single aspect of their lives so that they can control every single inevitable outcome. 

They realise however, that this control is killing them. That they are their very own worst enemy because they are setting structures up that freeze their environment and these blocks become prisons not just for themselves but for everyone else in their lives. Such restrictive, damaging, unhealthy behaviors so that they can grasp control and direct it at their will of every single little thing out of fear of what might happen if they don’t

Why am I sharing this?First of all….Do you relate? 

CONTROL IS FEAR BASED.

If you cannot surrender control and find a state of FLOW then you will stay stuck in ways that freeze your body, mind and spirit. You will find blocks at every turn and with every one. You have to find a way of breaking them down

I will share a story here of something that happened to a client of mine (she allowed me to share this) that was a control releasing moment we had in an art therapy session a couple of months ago and you will see after listening to this how finding spaces for you to find flow, whether through yoga or any form of uncontrolled body movement, free movement is crucial to connecting your body with your brain to release blocks and find free flow……

THE ANTIDOTE TO CONTROL IS ACCEPTANCE / SURRENDER

So yoga may not be your thing but, my advice to you would still be to roll out a mat twice a week and just go to it and stay there quietly and see what happens…..

Also, and quickie, for those of you that doubt that you can have STRUCTURE and FREE FLOW…..Let me introduce you to YOUR SPINE and your YOUR BLOOD

Your spine is your antenna, well, it links to your antenna (your brain) It transmits the frequencies from within you at the base of your spine all the way up to your brain. It holds your entire system. Your blood is your flow. You absolutely can and should have both! You are your own universe within a human body! This is why you need to connect it all together so that inside can match outside – Mirror mirror……That’s how we change the world! 

FOR THOSE INTERESTED IN EXPLORING THE PELVIC VOICE CONNECTION – WE WILL BE DOING A WORKSHOP THIS WINTER THAT EXPLORES THE TRINITY OF THE PELVIS, RESPIRATORY SYSTEM AND THE THROAT. THE TRI SYSTEM THAT USES THE TRE SYSTEM TO RELEASE STORED TENSION!

But ok. lets go back to rituals…..Let’s keep some momentum going!

Now my bedtime routine is pretty serious. I don’t screen, I read. I don’t have lights or tech. I have candles and oils. I make sure my room is tidy with a good air flow and I use this time to check in with myself and be quiet, listening to whatever passes through, whatever I need to think, feel etc

It’s my quiet time!

By now, my kids are also having their quiet time. Listen, I have teenagers. I have a dog and a bunch of cats. Through the day this house is mayhem. There’s hair everywhere, noise, food, plates, madness, music, movement but by 9pm, this house winds down and everyone knows that QUIET TIME is happening!

My youngest is still only 11 and I’m very thankful that both my kids still really like to read books so she gets into bed and reads. My eldest not so much. She’s texting, gaming, watching god knows what and thats ok, this isn’t indoctrination camp but I know by then they’ve helped around the house, done their chores, had a wash, got ready for bed its ok for her to have her moments of what she likes to do in her free time but, she knows that by 10.30 she goes to sleep and they’re literally the only kids in our hood that through the summer hols are up by 9am. Her friends don’t surface until the afternoon!

BALANCE GUYS! 

Another routine that we’ve turned into a ritual is that once a month, at the start of the month in particular, DAY 1 of the month, THE DAY 1 RITUAL! We sweep the floors, we wash the floors, we get everything out, open windows, clear out the old and get the good vibes coming in!

Listen, we don’t have a lot of money. Where we live there’s no such thing as gov support or universal credit and we don’t have loans or whatever so what we have comes from us and it might not be much  but, 1st of the month, we stock the cupboards. We do our lists for the month ahead, know what we need, go get stock up, re-organise and then we……

BATCH COOK a specific amount of meals just so, that for a day or 2 a week throughout the month, there’s something to pull out the freezer. 

It takes an afternoon to prep 3 large batch meals so we tend to go for a chili con carne, a stew and a chicken dish of some kind and we make 4 portions of each

And my kids help me, in particular my youngest as she wants to be a chef (aka herbalist – food is medicine girly) and we make enough for 4 meals of each so we can batch freeze 12 meals. That’s just under half the month taken care of in one afternoon

And this used to be a routine because it felt like a chore but instead, we turn up the music, if we’re cooking mexican (which is our go to) we listen to some Diego El cigala or the Frida soundtrack and we get fiery in our kitchen. At the moment, in order to max this experience, were also growing our own homegrown batch of super smokey mexican chillies as they’re difficult to find where we are….

So we make magic out of a monotonous routine and my kids LOVE it! 

WHISTLE WHILE YOU WORK – MARY POPPINS KIND OF CHORE MAGIC

My eldest is a fan of parathas and Indian food so when we’re doing a batch cook of a curry or a dahl, she’ll be there too…..

The little things guys are EVERYTHING!

LAUNDRY – Yeah, a boring routine we have to do. Or, if you clean out the cupboards and turn washing clothes into a cleansing ritual, with cute powder boxes, labels, clothes pegs, softener jars (we all know B+M sell this stuff for nothing) you can transform a boring area of your house and a bland chore into ‘Maria hanging linen singing the sound of music’ type of alpine magic!

My girls twice a week have their days for cleaning their rooms, opening windows, sweeping out the dust, stripping their beds, washing their sheets, hanging them out to dry in the sun (yes we’re lucky we live in a place where we can do that I get it) and it becomes a sun ritual of hanging things out with the INTENTION of purifying our bed linens, straightening out our delicates, and then folding them all back up again to put away in closets. We even grow our own lavender and rose geranium and dry it out and make pouches to hang in the cupboards to help keep our clothes smelling fresh

MEAL TIMES – We always have family dinners. Sure, they’re not always long, luxurious meals but we always make a meal, sometimes just a bowl of soup or a sandwich and we sit together and have a chat. Light a candle, put some nice music on in the background. On the days where here it’s too hot we might air con the living room and sit and watch a series together while we eat but we know it’s done with intention. It’s cosy. It’s confirmed time together. We don’t always talk but we’re always together

And then the girls make sure to wash up and put away. Don’t let your kids NOT do this. They need to know how. They need to know how a dish washer works if that’s what you use. Or a washing machine. They need to know these life skills. 

After dinner, my kids always go and walk the dog around the block. Walking after a meal is great for your bones, your digestion, your blood sugar, your heart health…..Just 10 minutes, a steady walk around the block….Done!

On the walk, touch the trees, smell the smells, set the intention to come home and be quiet. Get ready for rest

And then every night everyone has a wash. A bath, a shower, a stretch….

And then sleep……and then wake…..And when we all wake, the windows get opened, the house wakes up, the sounds of the coffee machine, I like to listen to jazz fm, the world wakes up and the feels are great, everything smells fresh, the lunches are ready to go, everyone has a wake up wash or a shower. 

I like to do a 10 minute dry skin brush or a body tap. Tap in, get into your body. How are you feeling? I have my morning rituals with my creams and oils. I tend to make my own but you know, that’s my thing….and I’m very intentional about how I apply things, spending time on certain areas, putting oils on pulse points, doing some breathwork and little stretches. It literally takes no time but its intentional and that intention changes the whole vibe of your whole day I swear!

Breakfast is always light but good. We like broths in winter, eggs always, currently we’re very into breakfast burritos which are super easy and quick. Feed the animals, even that’s a ritual now. Everything and everyone wakes up at the same time and theres sync and momentum that feels calm and energised and powerful. No stress, even when there is stress because there’s a healthy structure that we operate within and it works because WE CREATED IT!

Never pay bills first thing in the morning or last thing at night. Middle of the day once you’ve got your priorities out of the way. Set the tone first. 

Remember that EVERYTHING starts in the home so make sure that your home is your temple, your sanctuary. It takes work sure, but treat it like a sacred space and you’ll see how everything that flows from within it starts to change your entire world!

You don’t need a mega mansion or a huge budget to do this either I promise you that but take pride in your home. Sprinkle magic in every corner. Clean it often, clear out junk and clutter. Dust and mop. Make sure the energy remains high in your home. This isn’t hippy mumbojumbo or witchcraft this is empowerment with magic through ritualistic practice of intention. 

Life is hard af we all know that. In our hardest times, I honestly can say I’ve overcome them because my home has always been filled with gratitude, calm and love. These things are essential so when the world is spinning like madness around you on the outside, you can go inside, close your doors and sit in peace and solace. 

I can remember when my eldest was 3, we had no money, we felt angry and disillusioned for the most part and a lot of the time but there was one day where I couldn’t get my husband to shift his mood but I was having none of it. I didn’t want to sink to his depths of negativity and frustration so I got my daughter in her pram and went for a walk around the park and I remember the feeling from within me was one of such deep gratitude and I laughed at myself cos I remember thinking “I’ve barely got a pot to piss in, a sink full of dirty dishes and a lot to complain about but, I felt such gratitude!” So I laughed at myself as I was going over all the things that I could perhaps have had to maon about but then all the things I had to be grateful for and they weren’t things. They weren’t inanimate objects or phsyicalities. We had no money, I wanted nice shiny things, new kitchen gadgets that everyone else on social had. Pretty bedrooms and luxury linens but I didn’t, yet I felt such gratitude. 

So I analysed it and went deep into what this feeling was and where it came from and I realised, It was because I had a home filled with love. I had a child that was so funny, bright and comfortable being her, with us, in our home with perhaps no money or fancy things but she was the happiest most connected child and seeing that made me realise it was all so worth these moments. The feeling of being able to go home and hug my husband, who yes sure was grumpy, miserable angry but, he wasn’t with me. With me he was loving, kind, connected and we could always find connection together in the little things like laying on the couch watching a box set with a bar of chocolate. That bar of chocolate to us was a luxury. A cup of tea, a good book, the comfort of being in bed watching the snow fall outside or listening to a thunder storm together. Bath time when my kids were younger was an every day routine but it was always filled with bubbles and fun, love, we listened to the same bathtime playlist that was a routine that became a ritual. The same old same old every day grew to become a safety ritual that turned into pure magic because it had intention and those feelings, that was what I was grateful for. Not the 4 walls or the shiny things but for a life within it all that was filled with purpose, love, connection!

EVERYTHING IS A FEELING! THAT IS ALL…..

If you have these things, I promise you YOU ARE RICH AF and the rest doesn’t matter. Sure, over the years, we bought nice linens, we got new kitchen appliances, the linens we’ve still got. We treat them like gold so when we wash them and hang them out it’s like dangling treasure in front of the sun to bless them. The value placed in having nice things can only be sustained if we make them last and take care of them 

The kitchen appliances, some of them broke, got lost in moves, got damaged or died but they’re only things. The charity shop replaced many. Empty spaces still await for what’s next. I won’t obsess over the absence of what should fill those spaces but rather be happy that there’s a space to fill with something in the first place……

Values create rituals. Rituals create meaning. Meaning creates purpose. Purpose creates gratitude!

Fill your life with as much purpose as you can! Go deep into your values and find out what matters to you the most. Fill your spaces ONLY with what matters and what counts. Clear out spaces for new things to grow. Turn all your daily chores into magical rituals and watch how they transform your life! And when your lifes transformed and you can see smiles, feel hugs, hear conversations of worth, fill everything with intention, enjoy that wave of gratitude as it fills you up and takes over everything you thought was a problem that doesn’t need to be there and never really did in the first place!

YOU’VE GOT THE POWER MY FRIENDS! 

Well, we hope you’ve loved this workshop. We hope it’s given you some tools, whether practical, insightful or magical. Life isn’t just black and white forwards momentum

Sometimes you have to go right back to the beginning and review all the things you thought were important and really ask if they are. Sometimes you have to have a perspective shift in order to create new realities. Sometimes you have to open up and share stories of past hurts or fears in order to release them and set them free. Sometimes you just need a moment by yourself to take a look at what you want your life to look like and start to make ways in making that vision possible

Don’t ever be afraid to make changes. Don’t ever think you haven’t got what it takes to create the kind of life you want. You absolutely do but it starts with you!

So please go and deep dive into our other workshops 

• Hello, it’s me – Our identity special where we offer psychological, philosophical and many other forms of thought provoking and inspiring ways to connect you the TRUE, AUTHENTIC version of you! Tap back in to WHO YOU ARE! Remember yourself. Start here
• Have a browse at our 30 page WORK LIFE BALANCE workshop doc and further on the clarity of why balance is important
• If you’re a woman of whatever age (even if you’re a man, this is a great read for you too) go over our CYCLE SYNCING workbook that looks at incredible, insightful and practical ways to fine tune your body, tap into your natural cycles and turn your home into the place that helps you follow your flows all month long from within a space that’s healing, loving and kind

And once you know who you are again and you feel strong enough to stand on your OWN TWO FEET with balance and purpose, then come back and join us for our ZOOM OPEN TABLE and let’s talk through some further solutions, strategies and structures so that we can share more and go deeper into how we can shift into places and spaces that mean the world to us and make the world a better place!

Change starts with us! If we all start to make shifts in directions that benefit us, the world outside of us will have no choice but to shift with us…..And it’s getting there! 

UNITED WE STAND, DIVIDED WE FALL!

We’ve got this!

So much love to you all and see you in week 4 for our open table!

Feel free to bring snacks, drinks and show up casual. This isn’t a work meeting. It’s a heart meeting!

A HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL INVOLVED IN MAKING THIS WORKSHOP

Loic Marzin – For your contributions throughout our ‘Hello, It’s me’ workshop and all your support and influence in philosophical ethics and policies. I’m so grateful I got to study with you!

Felicity Taylor – Our Clinical Diagnostic Nutritionist and Endocrine specialist for all your scientific insights and involvement in our ‘Art of Cycle Syncing’ hormone workshop. We literally could not have done this without you!

Claire Louise – For your hard work and gracious efforts in the web design content throughout. I am so crap on computers and you’ve done a beautiful job of making this just the way we wanted it! Thank you lovely!

Charlie Isherwood – For your fantastic dedication in out work / life balance research and insights and for your sponsorship throughout WORK . LIFE BALANCE SCOTLAND where we know you’ve promoted our services and are eternally grateful

Lee Asher – My husband and partner who has been by my side for 14 long hard years in Veterinary HR and has allowed me time and space to make this project whilst life’s gone on at fast speed around us! Thank you for your patience and belief in me!